We See You, Mama: The Invisible Labor of Motherhood in Today’s America

She’s the one who remembers to pack the snacks, schedule the doctor appointments, sign the permission slips, wipe the butts, plan the birthday party, monitor the screen time, sort the laundry by color, and refill the soap in the bathroom—without ever being asked.

And more often than not, no one notices.

Welcome to motherhood in America. Not the pastel-filtered Instagram version. The real one. The exhausting, unpaid, under-recognized, endlessly demanding labor of being a mom in a country that loves to celebrate motherhood with brunch and flowers once a year—but offers little to no support the other 364 days.

The Labor You Can’t Clock In For

We talk about “work-life balance” as if there’s some clean division, but for moms, the line isn’t just blurred—it’s obliterated. The moment you become a mother in this country, you enter a second, unpaid shift. This work doesn’t come with a 401(k), health insurance, or even a bathroom break. But it’s essential. And it’s everywhere.

Sociologists call it “invisible labor.” It’s the mental load of motherhood: tracking the family calendar, knowing which kid hates which vegetable, making the dentist appointment, and remembering it’s grandma’s birthday. It’s emotional labor, logistical labor, anticipatory labor.

It’s making everything happen without anyone seeing it get done.

America’s Mom Crisis: Unsupported and Undervalued

Let’s be clear: America is failing its mothers. We are the only industrialized nation without paid parental leave. Childcare costs rival mortgage payments. School schedules are incompatible with work schedules. And when moms speak up, they’re called “dramatic” or “entitled”—as if advocating for basic survival is a luxury.

Meanwhile, single moms, working-class moms, immigrant moms, queer moms, and moms of color shoulder even heavier burdens. Systemic barriers make parenting not just exhausting, but often dangerous.

And while Republicans scream “family values,” they slash food stamps, criminalize abortion, ban books, and ignore the maternal mortality crisis—especially for Black mothers, who are three times more likely to die from childbirth complications than white mothers.

So no, America doesn’t value mothers. It uses them. And then blames them for being tired.

“But She Doesn’t Even Work…”

There’s a reason the phrase “just a mom” sets so many of us on fire. Mothers are often expected to stay home and raise kids—but when they do, their labor is dismissed as unproductive. If they go back to work, they’re told they’re neglecting their children. It’s a no-win trap of judgment and guilt.

And for moms who do work outside the home? The U.S. offers some of the worst support on earth. No universal childcare. No federally mandated sick leave. No guaranteed lactation accommodations. You’re supposed to lean in—while being paid less, judged more, and raising tiny humans on the side.

We’re expected to work like we don’t have children and parent like we don’t have jobs. It’s a system designed to break us. And for many, it does.

The Revolution Is Mother-Led

But here’s the thing: mothers have always been at the forefront of movements. From the mothers of the disappeared in Argentina to the Black mothers who founded #BlackLivesMatter to the migrant mothers risking everything at the border—moms fight back.

Because no one knows what’s at stake like a mother does.

And now, in the face of authoritarianism, ecological collapse, rising gun violence, and economic precarity, more mothers are organizing, running for office, protesting, caregiving each other’s kids, and building networks of mutual aid.

We’re not just baking cookies—we’re building coalitions.

This Mother’s Day, Let’s Do More Than Say Thanks

So yes, buy the flowers. Draw the cards. Let her sleep in. But also:

• Support universal childcare

• Demand paid family leave

• Elect women who’ve done the unpaid labor

• Respect single moms, working moms, queer moms, disabled moms, all moms

• Stop acting like parenting is a private problem

• Share the damn load

Mothers are not superheroes. We are not martyrs. We are people. And we deserve a society that sees, supports, and compensates our labor—seen and unseen.

Because moms aren’t just raising kids. We’re holding up the whole damn country.

Sources:

• American Sociological Review – The Invisible Labor of Motherhood

• U.S. Dept of Labor – Paid Leave is Essential

• CDC – Racial Disparities in Maternal Mortality

• National Women’s Law Center – Childcare Crisis in the U.S.

About the Author:

Danika Joy Fornear is a former alligator wrestler, environmental educator, and full-time troublemaker raising two tiny revolutionaries in a rural Florida town where MAGA flags outnumber mailboxes. She writes for Big Mouth Media (https://bigmouthmediafl.com), helps organize grassroots resistance through Save Our Democracy (https://substack.com/@saveourdemocracy2025), and shares her personal essays and political commentary at Front Porch Revolution (https://substack.com/@danikajoyfornear?r=58o1va&utm_medium=ios&utm_source=profile).